'It is about maximising memories for the kids'

Left without a voice, but far from silent

Nov 09, 2022

It is a weird thing to age and suddenly notice the various stages in life that you have passed.

I guess having kids is a big part of that; it only seems like yesterday that I was in high school.

This year it dawned on me: I am the age my own father was when he died, and my eldest son the same age (14) I was.

And when you get to your forties you suddenly notice that you aren’t going to weddings anymore, in fact you hear more about relationships ending.

You also start to hear of people getting sick. This is Andy Dalton’s story.

Last month he went to Dunedin Hospital struggling to breathe, but would later learn he had days to live.

The 41-year-old father-of-two found himself breathless while running, and even later when lying down.

That prompted him to visit the hospital’s emergency department on October 11, where a tumour was detected pressing against his windpipe.

“He wasn’t able to get air into his lungs,” Amanda O’Connor, 36, speaking on behalf of her partner, said.

A scan revealed Dalton was only breathing through a space of about three millimetres, and he was transferred to the hospital’s ICU that night.

Surgery scheduled for the next day to remove the tumour revealed he had a super aggressive and rare form of cancer called anaplastic thyroid cancer, which they couldn’t remove.

He was given a tracheostomy – a hole surgeons make through the front of the neck and into the windpipe – so he could breathe.

But, while in ICU, the tumour continued to grow and began to restrict his airway.

A few days later, the couple were given the news, “that he would have days left”.

“We were a bit shell-shocked,” O’Connor said.

Dalton’s two children – a son, 8, and a daughter, 4 – “are doing as well as you can expect”, she said.

The pair highlighted the incredible support they had at hospital, which included a consultant coming on his day off to bring Dalton home – in an ambulance – for three hours.

That was so he could say goodbye to family and friends, who joined them for drinks and a barbecue.

“We were expecting anytime,” O’Connor said.

Dalton, who communicates via a tablet, told me that hospital staff “have gone above and beyond treating me with the utmost care in what has been an incredibly scary, stressful and emotional experience”.

On Tuesday, Dalton had his final radiation treatment – aimed at prolonging his life – and which appeared to help slow the growth.

While the cancer was incurable, testing revealed he had a specific mutation – known as the Braf gene, and there were unfunded drugs – costing $5500 a month – able to target that mutation and “slow the growth of the tumour”.

“It does slightly improve prognosis, gives him slightly more time but nothing is a curative treatment for Andy’s cancer.”

But the family did want him to have more time, particularly for his children, so they had set-up a Givealittle page, hoping to raise $50,000.

Another potential treatment option was also unfunded: the immunotherapy medication, PDL-1, which cost $100,000 per year.

“Nobody thinks he will get that amount of time,” O’Connor said.

He had now returned home, and “we realise that we are on shaky ground, and that every day since then has been a gift”.

“I have found it a challenge, as his partner, to try and put on a positive face every day.”

The best case scenario was for the tumour to shrink around the windpipe, and he could potentially be able to speak – albeit quietly – with the tracheotomy still in place.

Dalton was able to talk with the help of an electronic device, as well as “charades” with his children.

His son was desperate to have his dad watch him play sport, which included futsal and touch.

“It is about maximising memories for the kids,” she said.

Thanks for sharing. I always feel for the kids when I write these stories.

This afternoon I had a walk around the Farmers Block of George St with Robert West and Simon Drew of the Dunedin City Council.

A soft opening was likely to be this Friday, and could include a drive-through by some emergency services vehicles, the pair said.

Workers could be seen adding the finishing touches to the street, which included planting, adding signs and installing street furniture.

Cameras on large black poles were designed to monitor traffic in the area, and that traffic flow could be altered through the phasing of traffic lights.

Potential work regarding the block outside council was not part of the plan until a decision about the Octagon was made.

The pair said the work highlighted how little was known about what was underneath George St, and should make the next work easier.

Some of what they found underneath George St was not recorded on any plans, but now accurate GPS records had been made.

The pair noted the work had been disruptive for retailers, but many were positive about the redevelopment.

I’d like to note the block retains the same number of carparks as before.

This week I’ve heard about two different niche transport options launching across the city.

Firstly, have you ever wanted to rent a McLaren GT and drive down Castle St in late February?

Well, now you can with car rental and subscription business SIXT due to open at Dunedin Airport next week.

The Dunedin branch joins the likes of Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch and Queenstown, which offers EVs, SUVs, luxury and premium cars.

According to the company, the vehicles you could hire include an Audi e-tron, Polestar 2, McLaren GT and an Aston Martin.

Start your engines.

The other transport option beginning in the city is completely different.

Pedals Dunedin Ltd is a new central city service offering same-day and urgent courier - by bike.

The company also has specially designed cargo bikes that can carry up to 90kg of goods. (I weigh less than that, so I’m mulling a potential first-person piece…).

You can read more about it here.

I also spotted this on Givealittle, about getting arguably the country’s most famous Stephen to the United States in time for his 50th birthday.

You can always spot Stephen at the Edgar Centre, volunteering his time helping with various sports down there.

You know what to do.

As a former winner (humble brag) of the Southland Science Fair (Form 2), I get very excited over any school projects on display

Check out these on display at Otago Polytechnic, way better than my ‘mouse maze’…

The polytechnic has played host to more than 40 projects developed by students (year 0-8) from four Dunedin schools, involving themes such as sustainability and history.

The exhibition was the last for the Otākou Steam Cluster, which brings to a close four years of collaboration with Otago Polytechnic.

Good work.

ICYMI: I racked-up a few unusual crime stories today, including one about a woman caught driving nearly seven times over the limit, and the other about a man who made a scene after dropping his beers. FLOOR SUCK!!!

And here is my Tweet of the Week (unofficial):