The 2023 Otago Ōtākou phonebook: a review

Everyone is a critic

Apr 26, 2023

On Monday I came home, and like clockwork, checked the letterbox.

Inside was something very exciting: the phone book.

I’m perhaps showing my age but when the phonebook arrived when I was a kid, it was a GODDAMN EVENT.

I would check to see if my parents were still there (they were, both their initials still listed even after my dad’s death), I would read the emergency contacts, the blurb on the local artist who got the coveted cover, the international country codes, the domestic area codes (Himatangi 06! Waitakururu 07!), suburb abbreviations, the first name listed, the last name listed, and all the funny names (Butt, Cockburn etc) in between.

I. READ. IT. ALL.

But the magic of the phonebook has long since gone *wipes away tears while looking at framed pictures of phonebooks from yesteryear*.

I still use phonebooks for work, often to find hard-to-track numbers and addresses of people at a particular time. They are a tool, much like an electoral roll.

With more information moving online, I looked at them less and less, but I was still reluctant to cancel.

So this is my review of the phonebook.

For starters the phonebook is now called Otago Ōtākou, it wasn’t in 2020. Years ago this would have been a big deal, nowdays I don’t think anyone cares because no one else has bothered to review a phonebook.

The photographs on the front are pleasant in an inoffensive Instagram kind of way. One is of a person on Otago Peninsula, another is of the Glenorchy wharf and another is of Sandfly Bay Lagoon.

I did a search on those images, finding one was a Getty photograph, which I could buy a large size for $650. B-.

It was interesting (well, to me) that the publishing deadline is November before the delivery date of April. I found a dozen advertised businesses that were no longer trading.

The same emergency, counselling, health numbers are there but there was certainly a growing focus on sustainability. This included how to opt out of getting the phonebook, now called ‘Yellow Books’. This was a repeated message throughout the book.

I did learn that the ‘Yellow Books’ (now I have a Coldplay earworm *shudder* in my head) contained no ‘virgin fibres’ (me too!), and used ink containing soy content, which was better than petroleum inks.

In the interest of investigative journalism, I can confirm the book gave off a pleasant scent compared to the older mustier ones near by desk. A-.

Possibly the best local abbreviations belong to FgSwp (Flag Swamp), which sounds like a chemical equation, and KakaP (Kaka Point), surely a deep south rapper.

Like all good stories, the proper phonebook starts off with a banger. Abrasive Blasting, a good punk band name, followed by Accommodation Booking Services, referred to a generic New Zealand site, and then followed by room to jot down 14 lines of notes.

Those notes are peppered on almost every page. WHO. IS. TAKING. NOTES.

I mean, between the listings of Guns, Gunsmiths and Ammunition and then Hairdressers, there were 53 available lines of ‘notes’. If you are on the lookout to buy a gun and get your haircut every week, this is the section for you. C-.

There were only a few businesses that included photographs of themselves, and one of those was Sonny Chin. Helpfully there was room for six pages of notes by his advertisement, of which I probably will fill out closer to his sentencing.

Three quarters of the way through, and I arrive at the White Pages for Dunedin/Ōtepoti, and it takes me a while to realise that there are no residential names in the book. No Mr and Mrs A.C Aardvark. Disappointing.

I check the fineprint: “This section includes business listings for customers in the Dunedin/Ōtepoti local calling area. All listings are sorted alphabetically”.

So, it essentially just arranges alphabetically what we just saw in the actual Yellow Pages, from AB Automatics to Zuma Web.

Weirdly, the residential section of the White Pages contains just a handful of names.

On the side of the page is this:

Looking for friends and family? Order the Residential White pages at yellow.co.nz/book-mangement.

You’re absolutely right I did. Instead of being able to order the Residential White Pages, I got a broken link with the helpful joke:

We’ve lost this page… But we’ve found your old charger and a missing sock

That’s an F.

I decided to ring a few numbers of the smattering of residential numbers listed in the white pages. Three times I got voicemail, and two other times I got the message that the phone number was no longer allocated.

I tried to go to Yellow for some answers, but rather than a *checks notes* phone number, they have a bizarre form for media queries.

I’m still waiting.

I went through the council agenda for Thursday’s meeting, you can watch it on YouTube if you are that way inclined.

The most interesting bit for me was reading about the planning for the FIFA Women’s World Cup, that includes:

Park and Ride options, as well as free buses from the Octagon to the stadium.
The Otago Regional Council offering ticket holders free travel on public transport, to and from the stadium
A Fan Festival programme that will be hosted in the Town Hall and Glenroy Auditorium on scheduled days
All training sites have received significant upgrades as part of international sporting specifications required to host the tournament, that includes Tahuna Park getting gender neutral facilities, international-standard flood lights, and pitch upgrades.
Dunedin is base camp location for the Swiss team, with council staff working with parties to provide a civic welcome, incorporating ideas into the Fan Festival, and an open training session for locals to enjoy.
DCC’s budget for FIFA WCC 2023 is $308,500 in 2022/23 and $749,788 in 2023/24. The wider city will likely recoup millions in tourist spending at a normally quiet time of the year.

Break out the fondue and Toblerone.

two person holding fork dipping food on sauce — Photo by angela pham on Unsplash

person holding Toblerone chocolate box — Photo by Morgan Thompson on Unsplash

It will be a great tournament. I was lucky to go to a World Cup in Japan and South Korea and 2002, and it was a wee bit bigger and better than my only rugby experience: Wales v Canada at Invercargill in 1987.

Arguably, my highlight of the week was doing an interview but noticing a pipe duct in the office featuring a familiar face. Brilliant.

Now it is time for Tweet of the Week.

Love Torty.

A notable run-up is on how to take pictures of an aurora by Paul Le Comte.

I see that Heritage New Zealand is proposing to list the ‘Manor Place Conveniences’ as a Category 2 historic place.

Nice work to the city’s ‘loo lady’, you can read more about her work here.

Otago Regional Counci just released its Regional Threat Assessment for reptiles - the first in a series of threat assessments for indigenous species around Otago.

The regional status of most reptiles found in Otago are threatened with extinction, with several species more threatened regionally than at the national level.

Of note:

ORC ecologists identified 34 reptile species in Otago, of which 32 are mainly land-based: comprising 18 skinks, 13 geckos and tuatara. The two marine species are both sea turtles.
Eight of these species are only found in Otago, including the Burgan skink, grand skink, Kawarau gecko, orange-spotted gecko, Otago skink, Oteake skink, schist gecko, and short-toed gecko.
Otago is a national stronghold for 24 species of resident reptile species, meaning they contain more than 20% of the national population

ICYMI, I wrote this story which may be of interest, it involves a man who had his medicinal cannabis taken by police.

Or you can read this concerning the water rescue sparked by two seals playing with some fish.

Here is a recent video from some cyclists touring the deep south:

And please let me know in the comments where you think this is in Dunedin:

The Mish

Discussion about this post